Panic on the trading floor

Excitement finally came today: there was panic on the trading floor. Not that I would've known, if it hadn't been for a chance discussion in the kitchenette at the start of the day. The markets went "bang!" and money was lost. $1.3 trillion was wiped off the equity markets.

Such news had me excited all day. It was perhaps the only thing that got me excited today.

Actually, I tell a lie...

A couple of plates of fruit arrived in the afternoon. That made me happy.



And when I headed to the toilets to wash my hands afterwards, I had to hold the door open for someone with my pinkies. That made her happy, which in turn made me happy.

And when I finally got to go home, I got a lift from someone. She drove me all the way to the corner of where I live, and I got home a full 20 mins sooner than I would've done had I had to stand and wait for the train. That made me very happy. I got to see Oxshott on the way home. The houses there are so big it's unreal. I mean, really: I'd never imagined that such huge houses actually existed.

- - - - -

So, why is it that running gives me a sore neck and shoulders?

Answers to the usual places, if you have any.

I ran a lot today, and I wasn't even feeling the pain. Hardcore. My tummy is flatter than ever. I'm almost at the stage where even my small trousers are too big for me. If I'm wearing trousers with a 32" waist, You could easily get your hand down there. With a 34" waist, you could go all the way and get your head down there.

Not that you would, of course.



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I wish I had somebody to go to the pub with tonight. I feel quite up for it. As it goes, I have nobody. My closest friend is too far to reach at this time of night.



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I have nothing more to say.

Edit: Ha! But just as soon as I wrote this, a friend came home and I went to that pub! A bit of Staropramen on a Friday night works a treat! Now I'm happy :-)

Good and bad things that happened today

I'll tag them with a "g" for "good", and a "b" for "bad"

g - I had a slight lie-in, after the most beautiful sleep
b - I discovered that I forgot to turn the fridge back on after cleaning it
b - I snapped the plastic holder for my DS lite. Not sure if that's bad or good, to be honest. It might actually be better that way.
g - I wrote some very nice code in an incredibly professional way
g - I lasted until 1pm until I ate lunch
b - But I ate lunch alone
g - As I was finished lunch so soon, I got to take the longest route for my lunchtime walk
g - A friend at work challenged me to eat a super sour sweet. I took him up on the challenge, and gave the office a laugh
g - I talked to someone I don't normally like in the slightest, but managed to control myself and have a laugh this time. I made other people laugh too
g - I sorted out more stuff in a very professional manner
g - I totally snoozed on the train home. I always do these days...
g - I hit the gym
g - I ate a very delicious dinner, most of which I prepared yesterday
g - I received mad love on MySpace
g - I did some brainwork
b - I didn't do as well as I wanted to on the brainwork
b - I found out that the job I was going to apply for is no longer available
g - I received a bit of love on Facebook too
b - I realised that, once again, the evening has proved too short for my desired activities

Writing the list down like that makes me realise that this day has been mainly good. I've barely noticed the weather. Or the lack of flatmates. Or anything other than what's going on in my head, to be perfectly honest.

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I miss Helen.

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I have a dubstep tune that I keep having to rewind. The drop is completely ill, and I just can't get enough of it.

Question time

Questions for you all to ponder today:

1. Why are so many girls with bellies completely unashamed of showing off their bellies by wearing tops that don't cover them?
2. Why don't men with tits try their hardest to lose weight?
3. More to the point: how can men with tits possibly get girlfriends?!?!
4. Is meat actually good for you, or are you just completely kidding yourself?
5. Don't you have something better to do with your life than read my blogs?
6. If the Street Fighter characters were real, and you had to choose one of them to be your bodyguard, which one would you choose?
7. If elephants laid eggs, how big would they be?
8. Do you ever get tired of girls telling you how they had a rubbish sleep because somebody texted them in the middle of the night?
9. Will The Thames really burst its banks?
10. Do you ever wish you'd paid more attention at school?
11. Are you certain about anything in your life, or are you just too scared to change?
12. Did you know that chocolate milk is a very good choice of recovery drink after exercise?
13. Have you ever investigated why we think that 13 is an unlucky number?
14. Do you seriously think smoking is unattractive?
15. How often to you think about what society will be like in 20 years' time?

Yes it is, yes it is... that's ALL it's about, honey...

The title for this blog just came out of my mouth a minute ago. Amazing that words managed to come out of my mouth while chocolate was in my mouth. Still more amazing that, no, there wasn't anybody in the room at the time: I was just talking to myself. Having a multiple personality moment.

You have no idea: I sit in my room by myself, and I confabulate with you all.

Confabulate. There's a good word. It's on my word list. It's number 3 on my word list. The memory hook I use to remember number 3 is "tits". And, no, I don't think of your tits, before you look down at them and think: "gosh, does he really think of these to remind himself of the number 3?!"

But that's not to say that I don't think of your tits when I'm jacking off, so don't feel too put out.

- - - - -

Now, that little intro was totally unplanned, and uncalled for too. What on earth has gotten into me tonight?

Do you really want to know? Okay, some lasagne and a bit of chocolate. That's what's gotten into me tonight.

I watched Carne Trémula last night. I'm starting to warm to Almodóvar's films. And who wouldn't? The man has a fixation with vaginas.

But anyway, the film gave me stuff to think about.



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Not that I don't have enough stuff to think about as it is. There was one moment today that was so thought-provoking, that I'm not even going to discuss it here. I shall save those thoughts for my own delectation.



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I paid £25 to subscribe to the Guardian's online crossword service today. A small price to pay to have some words to think about on the way home from work. I learned a new word today, which seems so simple that it shouldn't actually exist...

The clue was: amelioration (10). Answer to follow.

- - - - -

I skipped the swimming pool in order to get some food tubs from Sainsbury's. And what a disappointment they are: the lids barely stay on. So, what's the point in selling food tubs with lids that don't stay on?

Still, I bought some fragrant new fairy liquid. It really is fragrant.



But now I feel a bit bad about my actions...

- - - - -

Oh well, the answer to the crossword clue (the question was "amelioration") was:

BETTERMENT!

How can such a word exist?!?!

I can imagine a conversation at work tomorrow:

- So, this is my new spreadsheet, Pete?!
- Yes yes, it certainly is! I've made a few changes: I'm not sure that it's perfect yet, but I think it's definitely a betterment.

It just doesn't sound right...

- - - - - -

It actually reminds me of a song...

"She lies and says she's in love with him
Can't find a better man"

I just can't hide it

I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't!!!!!!!

I thought I'd wait until I'd written a few paragraphs, but I'll just start this one with the thing that made me smile all the way home this evening:



YES! The cattle have arrived.

You know, I had already composed an introductory narrative to the news that cattle had arrived: something about rugby teams having orgies while I was reading Beloved... But forget that: just check out the pix!



- - - - -

Anyway, these beautiful beasts were a wonderful end to what had up until then been quite a rubbish day. I was exhausted today. Exhausted through excitement, no doubt. I'm hatching intellectual plans like never before at the moment... my mind is on FIRE.

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Yes, I'm going to be a treespotter. The idea came to me yesterday, when I realised that I can barely identify Christmas trees, let alone any other variety. Yet I live and work in an area full of beautiful trees. I thought: "Imagine if you lived through life and never got to know the names of any of the beautiful women you saw?"

And that was it: the resolution was made. I didn't hesitate in picking up a little book I can carry around with me on my travels, identifying trees. I'll even get to learn the Latin names. Now that will be cool.

Having enjoyed yet ignored nature for so long, like so many ungrateful lovers out there, it's now time for Pete to give his full attention to all the pretty things in this world that make him happy :-D

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The Stella Sessions are on tonight, and thanks to my sprained foot / ankle / lower leg (the pain keeps moving, what have I done?!), I'll be in the house to listen to Skream spinning his stuff.

DMZ this Saturday, WO WO!!

This really is getting exciting.

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I'm a learning machine at the moment, catch me if you can...

- - - - -

One more, one more!



She's called Billy. Billy is my favourite. How can you resist a sexy beast like that?!

What am I like?

First up: Diddy wasn't dumped for Sienna - he walked out on his girl FOR Sienna... It makes a bit more sense to me now...

- - - - -

Tonight, after a swim, a hobble and some spinach (a hobble?! whatever would you do that for?! Well, dear reader, I had a hobble because I've got a bit of a sprain in my left foot. All a shame - I can't run for the time being, and I'd better stop lunging too...) I paid a bit of money to get my hands on some tests. I need to test myself. These are testing times.

I'm now better with numbers than with words, according to the tests...

I took the personality test for a laugh. Allegedly, this time around, I'm a "persuader". Like Christopher Columbus! Or Arnie!



Well, I never...

- - - - -

So, here's a question: what in the world could be worse than not being allowed to eat chocolate?

And the answer: being allowed to eat chocolate, but not being up for it. No lies: I bought a bar of Maya Gold this evening, thinking: "yeah, you've earned a couple of pieces!" But after the spinach and walnuts and wholemeal pasta goodness, I simply wasn't hungry.

....

I just searched for a pic of some Maya Gold, and I discovered that, as well as being one of the Green & Black's recipes, Maya Gold happens to be a porn star...



Well, I never...

- - - - -

I think that's just killed my concentration. I'm off.

At first, I posted this without a title

So Diddy's been left for Sienna? I read the report on Yahoo! news but, to be honest, I'm still pretty much lost...

I can't quite grasp the significance of it.

- - - - -

I did some simply spectacular things tonight, I really was on form... I had to put on a load of washing. A load, not a load. I mean: "a machine load", not "a lot". But, hey, it was enough to fill the machine. But "a load of washing" would really be about three loads. Anyway, sorry, I'm sidetracking myself with my musings on language here. Sidetracking?! Is that correct English?! Good grief, I really am on one tonight...

RIGHT. I was saying...

Washing. That's right. I was putting on some washing. I put the machine on. Yesterday, after putting the machine on, I searched my room for my gym card. I then deduced that it could only be in the shorts which were in the washing machine. I had to call a halt to the wash to retrieve my card. Thank god they don't make gym cards out of cardboard.

Sorry, I didn't come here to talk about yesterday. I was talking about today.

So, TODAY, when I put the washing on, what happened?

I saw a sock. A solitary sock. Damn, I'll have to call a halt to the proceedings again. And, while waiting for the washing machine drum to depressurise, or whatever it does, I wandered back to my room, where I found another solitary sock. Not the pair of the one that escaped in the kitchen. But anyway, I got them both in the machine and started the whole damn game again.

- - - - -

I should've taken this as a sign that things were slipping away from me this evening.

I left the flat. Just as I shut the door, I asked myself: "have you got everything?" It was too late of course: the door was shut. And I realised that I didn't have my keys.

So what? I was off to the gym, and then for a swim: somebody would be home by the time I'd got thin.

(There was no need for a rhyme there. No need whatsoever. This isn't a musical.)

- - - - -

I got to the gym and started getting changed. I saw an absence of swimming shorts in my bag. I have no recollection of what I said, but I must've said it out loud, or at least thought it so loud, and with so much emotion that the other guys in the changing room felt what I said, because I sensed people looking at me.

I was pissed. No swim :-(

- - - - -

This blog isn't about narrating the events that happened tonight, though. That would be boring. The point is: after I'd got home, I went to pick up a pizza. I was so excited about this, that I even wrote to Helen to tell her. Imagine being half the world away, and receiving emails saying: "I'm off to get me a pizza!"

I mean, really: just imagine.

- - - - -



Diddy loves big booty!

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I've been entertaining a kid on work experience today. Well, I've been entertaining myself anyway. This kid, he comes into the office on Monday and says: "Yeah, I'm interested in coding!" So I sat him down and taught him a bit of coding. He didn't seem too interested. He came along yesterday and said: "Yeah, I'm interested in technical writing!" So I sat him down today and gave him a chapter to read about style. Then I gave him a manual to correct. He said it was interesting, but he didn't seem too dedicated.

Right, that story was dull.

The interesting part is this: today I realised just how picky I can be when it comes to language.

- - - - -

I got on the train home and tried reading my book about technical writing. I fell asleep.

- - - - -

Once more, I'll say this: I did actually have something to say tonight, but it's gone out of my head now. Maybe it was a news story. Not the diddy one, though.

There's only one thing left to do tonight, while I'm in this mood: read some Macedonio Fernández.

Another day begins

My day started late - I was dreaming that I was at uni, studying Spanish, with a couple of hot girls I'd never met before, and I was entertaining them with my knowledge of Spanish literary quotes.

That kind of thing only happens in dreams.

I woke up late, but I needed the sleep after last night's mental session. Just 20 minutes more in the morning makes me feel absolutely wonderful

- - - - -

I really did have stuff to say when I started writing this, but I got so interrupted that all the thoughts went out of my mind.

I now don't know what to think about.

- - - - -

Reading's good. I've regained my appetite for literature. This makes me very 'appy ;-)

Nonsense is now falling out of my fingers and into a new blog

Hey hey hey! It's time for the 15th blog of my life. Here's the new baby to replace the junky-looking myspace crap. Of course, I owe myspace a lot, because if it wasn't for myspace, I would never have got so comfortable at writing such utter shite on such a ridiculously regular basis.

But anyway, a year on, and I've finally done what I said I'd do a year ago: I've migrated to Blogger.

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It wasn't my intention to write this blog, it was my intention to give the girl downstairs a box of sweets, for her to invite me in for a chat, and for me to finally start unraveling the mysteries of the girl downstairs. Who is she and what does she do for a living? What on earth was she up to out in Germany and why did she return? What does her flat look like? Why does she live alone? Does she really think I make a noise when I put my shoes on in the morning, or is that just a made-up story?

- - - - -

As anyone who knows me knows, I don't make a noise when I walk, but I do have a tendency to dance a bit in the morning. When I put on "Let's Go Crazy" by Prince, and he says "Punch through that floor", I really do go crazy.

- - - - -

Anyway, the girl wasn't there. Oh no. "The girl was never there, it's always the same: running towards nothing, again and again and again and again and again..."

- - - - -

The bottom line is: I just wanna dance with somebody who loves me. I've spent a considerable amount of time lately thinking about people who don't dance, because they say they can't dance. It upsets me slightly when people tell me that they don't dance. Dancing is natural, dancing is wonderful, dancing is a celebration. Dancing is the only true thing in this world. Dancing with tears in your eyes is as true as it gets.

Of course, I'm in training for the big summer dance at DMZ in Brixton on July 14th. Be there or be a total loser who doesn't know where it's at. I'm training hard: today I managed to out-run the running machine. How on earth did I manage to do a thing like that?

The damn stupid machine decided I'd had enough after 25 minutes. I was nowhere near finished. Well, I was almost five sixths of my way through the run. But the damn machine slowed down, and pissed me off, I sped it up again and then it stopped, and then I started it again and got back into my stride.

- - - - -

The people who run the pool are fuckers, though. The pool shuts at 8. So at about 7.45 a load of trainee lifeguards come out and start rescuing each other. One of the fully trained lifeguards eventually asks me if I can get out of their way - "they'll only be a few minutes". What a lying fucker - the pool blatantly shuts at 8 for them. So why the fuck should I give them even more time?

I mean, would they accept it if I stayed there past 8 o'clock? "I'll only be a few minutes..."

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The long and the short of it is this: I'm tired of eating salad, and I now only have some lettuce left anyway. I'm just looking forward to a fat pizza at the end of the week. It is for this that I punish myself so much.

- - - - -

I left my bottle at the gym too. Damn.

- - - - -

I don't actually know where my goggles are, so I bought some new ones. Now I know where my goggles are. But I still don't know where the other ones are.

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There are no pictures here! I need a pic to brighten the page up. You guys need a pic too, because you love glossy mags.



That's a very unflattering pic of the lovely Tori playing her beloved piano.

The new brain trainer (they've called it "More Brain Training" - I wish they'd called it "Brain Trainer 2: Train Harder", and used Bruce Willis to advertise it instead of Nicole Kidman, but who cares what I think? Right, I've lost you here, haven't I?)...

The new brain trainer - "More Brain Training" - has a piano game on it this time. Play the keys in time with the music. I'm pretty good at it, as it goes: it's the game I'm scoring highest on at the moment. It's only a matter of time and space before I get myself a musical keyboard...

- - - - -

Nicole Kidman. I haven't seen the adverts, as it goes. What was the deal with Tom and Nicole?

- - - - -

Where on earth am I going?



There's only one Nicole worth talking about, and that's lovely Nicole Richie.

Don't play.