plain useless

When you don't want to feel, you can't feel the cold, and when you don't want to feel, the rain doesn't matter either, and when you don't want to feel, the music means nothing, and when you don't want to feel, you don't want to feel, because the feeling is horrible. When the people look like they've just seen an alien because the feeling has disfigured you, and when the people look scared because the feeling is reaching out into their zone, and when you can't see yourself properly because the feeling has blinded you. Shouting here is pointless. The swearing will come later.

Have you ever waited for a bus and the other person waiting looked so worried that you just walked home instead, and you wanted to walk forever but your house was closer than you wanted it to be and the route was far more familiar than you wanted it to be because with every step you took you walked into another universe of memories, but the memories had been disfigured too, and the whole world was grotesque and you wanted to retch and throw it all up, back onto the world, but the confusion was too much and lying down would be the best thing to do, but you can't lie down because you can't do anything because nothing seems to exist any more? This isn't poetry, it's just stupidity.

If the rats crawled out of the sewers and into your car and all over you when you were trying to flirt and show no fear, and if the rats threw up blood and your hair got dirty and your friend ran away and told the world about your baby rat and you felt so stupid for ever driving anywhere, even more stupid and confused than reading stuff written on the internet makes the writer look, then what on earth would the people think and what would your friends think and would it be an experience to treasure for the good side or for the bad side and do you think you could ever look back on it at some point in the future and laugh about it, or would it disturb you for the rest of your life?

When you leave the house and it's sunny so you've got no umbrella, but then the weather turns nasty without warning and you get soaked by icy water... then what, bitch? You just have to feel nothing and change your clothes and dry your hair and wonder why the fuck it happened to you. Petrol prices are on the up, slut.