Nothing ever happens on facebook

I have no energy and I have no idea where my energy has gone, I slept last night and I slept this morning and I slept on the train to work and I slept on the train home from work and I was in a daze on my way home. I bought a ticket to Sutton because I needed to do something. I bought a ticket to Sutton but the platform was too long, so I crossed to the other platform and went in the other direction and when the train started moving I thought I could get off a couple of stops early and just go home but then I remembered that the train was going in the other direction and for a moment I saw myself travelling in opposite directions, drifting apart. 

There were scenes in my head for the whole trip home, the cast had been gathered from a dream I had the other night, the dream was nice in a way but when I woke up I was confused and upset and the images didn't get washed down the dirty plughole as I showered in front of the spattered mirror and behind the grubby screen. Too much to clean, I'm tired of cleaning I'm the only one who cleans and they think it's a sign of madness of obsessiveness I don't see what's wrong with wanting to live a clean life but they think I'm mad. The images have stayed with me, I thought I'd lost them a long time ago but they're still here with me. The images of a dream I had the other night, of a night I had the other year, of a day I had the other summer, they had returned.

My mouth had lost its taste and the sweets weren't strong enough, I couldn't get enough taste in my mouth from the sweets and the bad thing about bon bons is that it's only the sweet dust and the hard shell that are worth eating and then you're left with hard caramel and the challenge of trying to find a way of softening it and saving your teeth. I sat on my bed and I didn't know what to do, music wasn't sounding the same way, the music wasn't strong enough either, there was no point, I sat on my bed and I thought about my ticket to Sutton. I'd bought a ticket to Sutton and I had to use it, I'd bought it because if I bought it I'd have to use it. I had to use it. I sat on my bed and didn't know how to proceed who to phone what to do whether to drink and smoke or just lie on my floor. It looked appealing. 

On my other bed and I had no energy. My top off and I had no energy. I had no belt, no top and no energy. I sat on my other bed and I eventually lay down. I couldn't lie down like that, I'd slept all day, I couldn't sit up, I was too tired, my arms are so thin, they've got no strength, my arms are thin like nothing else in the world, they're so thin they've got no power they can't save me I'm looking at my arms and I can't believe how thin they are why are they so thin and why am I so tired? I'm lying on the bed but I can see myself lying on the floor.

I have a ticket to Sutton and I have to use it. My tenses are jumbled and my arms are so thin, look at the tenses: they're all jumbled. My place in time is lost and the images from my dreams are all in my head and my body is vanishing I have no energy I don't know where it all went and I don't know why it went. I decide that the only thing to do is to use my ticket to Sutton and I talk to my friend but nothing seems to register and the night will have ended before I've even started, I'm now worried about what I'll see and what we'll do, and all I can think of is what she said and why she said it and what she did and why she did it and the images are all in my head and I wanted them to go away but they stayed with me long after everyone else left.