Have you ever...

Have you ever loved and lost somebody?
Wish you had a chance to say "I'm sorry"?

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That wasn't what I was going to say when I sat down to write this piece of nonsense. I was going to say: "Have you ever had one of those days?"

YOU HAVE. We all have.

But today, my day left my absolutely exhausted and unsure of reality. I walked home worried that I was losing all sense of reality.

Seriously, you have no idea how I feel today. You won't, until you read the blog which I can't post today, because the fucking email didn't come through. I'll have to grab it tomorrow, and while I grab it, I'll also grab whichever cunt's in charge of blocking my email messages at work. I'll grab him, and smash his fucking face in.

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If there's one thing that myspace had which blogger didn't, it's a hit counter for my blogs. I no longer have any idea if anyone's reading what I write. This is potentially a good thing, as if I don't think anyone's reading my work, then I don't care what I write. I can write all sorts of shite.

Nobody comments. Two blogs, and nobody fucking comments. Photos, and nobody comments. Jesus, does anybody else have anything to say about anything apart from that pic of Hulk Hogan and my sis?

Look, get bent.

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I'm waiting for my buddy to show up so we can go and drink some beer. And I'm feeling nigh-on psychotic right now. I'm absolutely manic. I have no idea what I might end up doing this evening. Hanging out with friends and having a beer may calm me down. On the other hand, it may send me over the edge. I want to drink spirits. Shit, I have spirits in my bedroom. I could drink, you know.

I read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas in a day. I think that's what's at the root of all this. I got so caught up in the story, that I now feel like I'm actually one of the characters. I feel that it is my duty to get horrifically messed up and then go out on the town and wreak havoc. If I had some acid, I'd be up on Wimbledon Common right now, and I'd give it to some young girl, then act like a complete animal with no remorse. You have no idea.

These are all just thoughts. I can write this shit down. I won't do it. I'm not that deranged.

But if you push me... If you push me, you might see me turn that deranged...